I am not a high achiever of excellence or success. Nor am I an exceptionally good motivational speaker. There are a few things I observed around...learned a little from them...and that's what I want to share here today.
A friend of mine, was fighting with hard luck for past 14 months. Everyday! Very bad financial condition...two elder brothers, who are least bothered about family or their own careers. Aging parents. And this girl, a fresh degree holder...entered Pune...alone...to get a job. The recent hit of recession and urgent need at home made her opt for an easy option...a telecaller at a call center. She was earning some Rs 5000 per month...and sending some 2000 home! I can't imagine how her life was...no one to support, no one to love...and living on Rs 3000 a month! She used to call me once in a while and just cry. Because her parents would never listen to her issues...as they had their own back home! She had no one to listen to her issues...
She was unhappy...
She called me yesterday, said she got a much better job in another international call center.
She says..."Now I'll have proper lunch everyday...! I am so happy!!!"
and I cried in my heart for her.
Another friend...Has loving parents...caring mother...sweet sister. But this guy, like me, has faced too many failures in past. And so he worries about future. He, as we all have, has responsibilities. He needs to take care of them asap. He works hard to capture each and every chance. But he sees no enough opportunities. He laughs on my stupid jokes, enjoys our hanging out together...but his eyes never smile. There is some pain there. Some deep worry.
he is unhappy...
I have a lot of other friends...who are worried about fights with their girl/boy-friends. Or about such small issues. By word "small" I don't mean that they are useless issues. I mean, they are not "hopeless" issues. We can solve them...we can find solutions to them. These friends...They don't have to worry about money or responsibilities. As Warren Buffet calls the offspring of rich as "A member of lucky sperms club", most of my friends are fortunate to be in very very comfortable places in their lives. Yet, many of them are not quite "happy" as they should have been. Can't they live a better life?
How many among us really trouble ourselves over very stupid and small issues? How many among us feel dejected because of things that can be handled really well if we keep ourselves cool?
I don't find any solution to my friends I mentioned above.
These are complicated issues...out of our control. We can't "SOLVE" their issues 'just like that', right?
But can we...I mean, they themselves, soothe their hearts and minds?
My personal problems so far, as I see them today, have taught me something. I guess I have figured it out the same way as everyone does.
The "Secret" lies within us.
It's not about what happens to you, it's about how you REACT to whatever happens to you.
Let it be a betrayal from your close buddies...or some professor deliberately torturing you...or some evil incident happened to you...Let it be a misunderstanding with your loved ones...or a heart break.
It's all about how we respond.
In the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness, the character, Christopher Garnder tells his son, "Don't let somebody tell you, 'You can't do something'. If you have a dream...you got to protect it! If people can't do something themselves, they tell you you can't do it! If you want something...GO GET IT...!"
...that's it...! The secret is to believe in you...and ENJOY what you are doing. Whatever happens to us...it's US who decide what should be our response...and in most of the cases, our response decides the result.
Easy to say, hard to practice? Not much.
I have suffered huge failures. Backstabbing from closest friends. I still go through such things...and these things hurt me a lot in late teens...especially if you are living away from parents. We all go through such troubles. Right? There are times when everyone feels alone...when there seems no hope...be it relationships, career or our dreams and goals. There are times when difficulties appear to be never ending.
Its these times when we got to fasten our seat belts and tell ourselves...that..."I am on the driving seat of my life! No one else is going to decide how this is going to end!"...and we must do it while smiling...enjoying!!!
And that's what makes sense! Because we do not have any control on what happens next. So, whatever we do should be done while enjoying the process...!
This is what our SrimadBhagvadGita says right?
कर्मण्ये वाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन |
मा कर्म फलहेतुर भूर्मातेय संगोसत्व अकर्मणि ||
You have the power to act only, you do not have the power to influence the result. Therefore you must act without the anticipation of the result and without succumbing to inaction.
Let us imagine, that we SOLVE our issues in our hand. Working hard...being sad and serious throughout the "journey". What happens next? Do we not have any new issues? New problems? Hell YES! We get new challenges, new problems, new examinations!
So what are we going to do? Chase the trail...unending trail...while being serious? And NOT enjoying at all?
What will we feel while we die one day? That life offered us almost everything...but we "accepted" almost nothing?!
I just want to say one thing...
Problems are meant to have solutions! That's why problems are there! To lead us to the solution...and meanwhile...to improve us. To make us better. To help us lead our lives in a better way.
If we do it smiling and enjoying, we all are going to be smiling while we die.
Reiterating The Godfather's...Don Carleone's quote while he was dying...
"Life is beautiful..."